Dating during catholic annulment
I get a lot of comments, concern and advice about finding someone when people learn I have been divorced for eight years.
I really am happy as a single person, and not at all lonely or bitter about the past because I choose to remain single.
Many parishes offer post-divorce workshops designed for the first months after a divorce. The Church—the institution as well as the individuals—needs to minister to the millions of divorced Catholics by both changing ingrained attitudes and reaching out in love.
Yes, the Church is and should be pro-marriage, but, like its Lord, it must also love and support those whose marriages have failed. As the survivor of divorce after 30 years of marriage, I know there needs to be a healthier dialogue within the Catholic Church between those who have never divorced (including our clergy) and those who have.
I have worked through the deep problems caused by my dysfunctional childhood.
I have faced and forgiven everyone who helped shape my early years in negative ways. Yes, divorce was a painful passage to go through, but I am a better person today because of it.
When a marriage fails, no amount of effort, enabling or denial will save it.
It is wrong to ask for details before you support your divorced friend, family member or parishioner.
My attitude now is, “If it happens, it happens.” In the meantime, please accept that I am fine as a single person. It means that I love you and I love the institution of marriage. My marital problems went a lot deeper than most, but every marriage needs constant care.
People should not have to justify their actions before they are loved for who they are. Divorce has released me spiritually, mentally and emotionally to become the person God created me to be.
I have been able to move on to a life that is fuller, happier and more creative.
My own Diocese of Phoenix and other dioceses around the country are revisiting their marriage requirements, lengthening preparation periods and examining couples closely, looking for trouble spots in their relationships and families of origin—indications that they may not be ready for the vocation of marriage just yet.
As a divorced Catholic, I am happy to hear about the Church’s new vigilance. Annulling past marriages and saying, in effect, “We hope you do better next time,” is hardly adequate.
The divorce rate is anywhere from 50 percent for first marriages to 80 percent for subsequent marriages.